Gilmore Girl Quotes:
"When I wake up every morning... I am at my most visually vulnerable."
"I left early today and apparently that caused everyone's IQ to drop 60 points."
- Richard, being missed at work
"I moved thirty miles away from my parents for a reason! Those thirty miles act as a buffer, so that when my mother says something that makes me want to kill her, I have to drive thirty miles to do it! Ten miles in, I usually calm down or I get hungry or I pass a mall! Something prevents me from actually killing her. That buffer is my mother's best friend."
- Lorelai, worried that her parents might move to Stars Hollow
"You are like a mythological creature that casts some kind of spell on me and makes me act stupid. I'm not stupid. I don't act stupid with anyone else."
- Max, trying to keep his distance from Lorelai
"Honey, someday when you're a little older you will be introduced to something that is extremely seductive but fickle. A fair-weather friend who seems benign but packs a wallop like a donkey kick, and that is the Long Island iced tea. The Long Island iced tea makes you do things that you normally wouldn't do, like lifting your skirt in public or calling someone you normally wouldn't call at really weird times."
- a hungover Lorelai warns Rory, "Red Light on the Wedding Night"
"It's a long story. I don't really wanna go into all the whats and whys and gory details right now... and to figure out exactly what happened, you'd have to dig up Freud himself and have him work on me full time."
- Lorelai, 'explaining' the Max situation to Sookie, "The Road Trip to Harvard"
"I hate fighting with friends."
"That's what enemies are for."
"And God knows we have our share of those."
- Rory and Lorelai, "The Ins and Outs of Inns"
"My mother - she was here. I can feel it. Smell that? The room smells like guilt and Chanel No. 5."
- Lorelai, sensing Emily in Rory's room, "The Hobbit, the Sofa and Digger Stiles"
"Dating. It's a horror."
"It's the only cure for the singleness thing, barring ordering a spouse off the internet."
"If I had dated a lot, I'd still be single. I'd just have spent a lot of bad nights at Tony Roma's."
- Luke and Lorelai, "The Fundamental Things Apply"
"That had all the tact of a Nazi storm trooper."
- Rory, after hearing Paris break up with a boyfriend, "A Family Matter"
"Rory... right now is the point in the horror movie where the entire audience is yelling, 'Don't go in there.'"
- Lorelai, bracing himself for a family dinner, "Afterboom"
The cats -- they know that I've broken up with Jason and that I'm alone and they've decided it's time for me to become a crazy cat lady... they can see it in my face. 'She's single again. She couldn't make it work again. She picked the wrong guy again.'
- Lorelai, attracting cats, "Luke Can See Her Face"
"They never invited their priest over to try and talk you out of having sex."
"Five times! And on the last one, they triple-teamed with a priest, a rabbi, and a Mormon missionary. I made so many jokes that night I should have had a microphone and a brick wall behind me."
- Rory and Lorelai